


Take A Look In The Mirror (And Cry)

by mercurys_loverboy (FandomStar)



Series: Freddie and Arthel ~ "Canon" [20]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Injury, M/M, Trans Male Character, Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22630480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomStar/pseuds/mercurys_loverboy
Summary: (INJURY IN TAGS IS NOT GRAPHICALLY DESCRIBED)After a binding accident, Freddie is determined to get Arthel the treatment he needs for his body to reflect who he is.
Relationships: Freddie Mercury/Original Male Character(s), Original Character(s) & Other(s)
Series: Freddie and Arthel ~ "Canon" [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1361284
Kudos: 8





	Take A Look In The Mirror (And Cry)

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this written since about May last year, and I'm so happy to finally be posting it because I love it!  
> Anyways, I'd just like to mention that Lou Sullivan, who plays a big part in this, was a real person. I did not know him personally (he died 12 years before I was born) so my characterisation of him is mainly fictional with sprinklings of interview source. I highly recommend you read about him, he is one of the few trans men that history and the community somewhat recognise and he is my trans idol. I actually only came across him because I was doing research on transmasculine transition in the 80s and articles on him were the only resources I could find. Anyway, if you want to read more about him, I wrote this for my main Tumblr last pride month: https://fandom-star.tumblr.com/post/185450685676/lou-sullivan

"Ell? Ell? Darling, are you okay?"

Inside the locked bathroom, Arthel was crying and trying not to sob to hard, because it _hurt._

"Arthel? Say something, please."

He couldn't. His whole body felt like it was going to cave in.

"You're scaring me, Ell."

Arthel didn't want his partner to be scared for him. Or for himself. Freddie's admission of his fear made Arthel lose control over himself and let out a sob, which made him shout in pain.

"That's it. Arthel, I'm coming in."

There was the sound of the door being forced open, and the next thing Arthel knew, Freddie was kneeling in front of him, expressive eyes filled with worry as he took in the state of his partner.

"This is a bit of a mess, isn't it?" he whispered, before asking Arthel, "What happened?"

Still finding it impossible to speak, Arthel moved the blood-soaked bandage he'd been using to bind that day closer to Freddie. Immediately, Freddie understood and his eyes widened. 

"Can you stand?" he asked, surprising both of them with how calm he was. Arthel shook his head. "I'm going to have to call an ambulance, darling. I can't do anything, and I _can't_ leave you like this." Arthel nodded in understanding. "I'll be back in a minute."

* * *

Whilst he was waiting for Arthel's treatment to be finished, Freddie was leaning against the reception desk with a telephone pressed to his ear, waiting for Brian to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Brian! Thank god you picked up!"

"'Course I did, Fred. What's up?"

"Arthel... Arthel got himself into an accident."

"What? Is he okay?"

"Hopefully. He should be. I'm waiting for them to finish treating him. It was only him involved."

"What happened?"

"I don't know if he'd appreciate me telling you."

"Right."

"Look, darling, I just wanted you to know why I won't be around to rehearse this weekend. Could you pass the message on to Deacy and Rog?"

"Absolutely. Tell Arthel I send him my best wishes."

"I will. Good luck without me, dear."

Freddie hung up. He felt guilty for calling his bandmate over his partner's parents, but he didn't know their telephone number and he didn't know how much time he had to explain the situation. 

"Mr Mercury?" a spectacled doctor holding a clipboard called, making Freddie look up at him. "Miss Jenkins' treatment was successful, and she's awake if you want to see her."

Caught off guard by the unfamiliar way the doctor was referring to Arthel, Freddie merely nodded and followed him. When he was ushered into the recovery room, Arthel was laying on a bed.

"Ell." he softly greeted, walking to sit beside Arthel and hold his hand.

"Fred," Arthel drowsily replied. "You're still here?"

Shakily, Freddie smiled.

"Of course, darling, I was worried sick about you," he said, kissing Arthel's forehead. "So's Brian, I called him to say I wouldn't be around this weekend. He sends his good wishes."

Weakly, Arthel smiled at him.

"That's nice of him." he murmured.

Smiling back, Freddie pressed his lips to Arthel's forehead again.

"Get some rest, my love," he whispered lovingly. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

Arthel tightened his grip on Freddie's hand as he let his eyelids droop shut.

* * *

On Sunday, Arthel was released from hospital, so Freddie had a car pick them up and drive them back to Arthel's flat. Arthel spent the day curled up in bed, drowning in three layers of oversized jumpers despite it being early July. Wisely, Freddie gave him space to be upset, but didn't leave the flat, instead catching up on some writing. When Freddie did eventually join him in the evening, Arthel cuddled close to him. 

"Thank you," he softly murmured, his arms around Freddie's waist and his head in the crook of his neck. "For stating away today."

"I knew you needed me to," Freddie replied, resting his chin on top of Arthel's head. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Arthel said. "A bit stupid."

"You aren't stupid, my love." Freddie assured him, gently.

"I am if I knew something like this was going to happen," Arthel argued, before sighing. "I never told you I tried to get surgery and hormones, did I?"

Freddie shook his head.

"I did wonder," he admitted. "I didn't want to pry, though."

"Well, I did. About seven years ago," Arthel told him. "I was turned down because I wasn't masculine enough to qualify as a transsexual on paper."

Freddie scoffed.

"Well, that's a load of shit!" he announced. "You're more masculine than I ever have been, darling!"

"And that takes a lot, doesn't it?" Arthel teased, smiling as he nudged his partner.

Freddie grinned.

"I knew I'd get you smiling one way or another, dear," he said, triumphantly, before sobering up. "It's something you need to do, isn't it?"

"What?" Arthel asked, frowning in slight confusion.

"Get surgery and hormone treatment. To feel... right in your body, to be truly happy with yourself." Freddie clarified.

A little surprised at how serious Freddie was, Arthel stared at him before nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Freddie gently held Arthel's hand. 

"I'll help you," he promised in a whisper. "I'll help you find someone who'll do it for you, I'll help you get to wherever you need to, and I'll help you pay for at least some of it."

Shocked, Arthel's eyes widened.

"You'd... you'd do that?" he murmured in disbelief.

"Of course," Freddie confirmed, resting a palm against his partner's cheek. "Darling, I can't lose you. You're-"

Realising how pathetic what he wanted to say would sound, he closed his mouth. Arthel tilted his head.

"Go on." he encouraged, his voice cracking slightly.

"You're my world, Arthel," Freddie continued. "I can't begin to imagine what my life would be like if I lost you, and I know that I will, somehow, if something doesn't change. So I want to do everything in my power to help you."

Tears had started making their way down the faces of both men, and Arthel hugged Freddie tightly. 

"Thank you."

Freddie smiled and wrapped his arms around Arthel.

"It's my pleasure," he quietly replied, before pulling the duvet the duvet over the both of them and kissing Arthel's temple. "Get some sleep, my love."

* * *

A few nights later, Arthel and Freddie were being led by Lottie down a street to a gay bar she liked to frequent.

"Who is it you're taking us to see again, dear?" Freddie asked, wanting to keep on top of things.

"An old friend of mine," Lottie replied. "He transitioned over in the States a few years back. Things have changed since then, but he's the only transsexual man I know who's gone through the medical stuff, so I think he could help you."

When they entered the bar, Lottie scanned the place, before lifting a hand.

"Dan!" she called, before taking Arthel and Freddie by the elbows and walking them over to a guy with a buzzcut and a friendly smile. "Dan, this is my friend, Arthel, and his partner, Freddie."

"Pleasure to meet you." Dan said, shaking Arthel's hand.

"You too." Arthel replied, grinning, before retracting his hand.

"I'll get is us some drinks." Lottie announced, going to the bar. 

"So, I'm told that you're looking to transition," Dan casually said. "It's a risk."

Shortly, Arthel nodded. "I know. It's one I have to take."

"Lottie said you might be able to help." Freddie added, trying to steer the conversation.

Liking between the couple, Dan took his lower lip between his teeth. 

"Possibly. I didn't have the same problem as you, I wasn't in a relationship with a guy, definitely not one as committed as yours, so I just lied my way through that," he told them. "But I did meet a gay guy who managed to transition whilst being open about it while I was in California last year. You heard of Lou Sullivan?"

Arthel's eyes lit up in awe.

"Yes, of course!" he exclaimed, before catching Freddie's confused expression and explaining, "Lou Sullivan's the first and only transsexual man to go through any sex reassignment whilst being openly gay."

"I keep in touch with him through letters," Dan continued. "I'm sure he'd be willing to help and give some recommendations if I explained your situation to him."

In shock, Arthel's jaw dropped and he blindly searched for Freddie's hand and gripped it tightly.

"That... that would be amazing," he replied, sounding a little distant. "You'd really do that for me?"

Dan grinned. "Absolutely."

With a delighted beam on his face, Arthel rested his forehead against his partner's shoulder.

"It's happening," he happily whispered. "This is _actually happening!"_

* * *

Two weeks after meeting Dan, Arthel had finished getting The King's Jukebox set up for the day. Suddenly, as he was about to open the shop, Lottie burst in through the back door.

"Sorry I'm late!" she called. "Dan called me early this morning to tell me he had something for you."

When she came into the main shop, she gave Arthel an envelope. Arthel glanced at the front and noticed that the stamp was American. Grinning widely, he met Lottie's eyes.

"This is-" he started.

"Looks like it," Lottie agreed, leaning against the shop counter with a grin as Arthel laughed, giddily. "You gonna open it?"

Thinking, Arthel tapped his leg.

"When I get home." he decided, going out back to put the letter in his jacket pocket.

"Give me a review when you have!" Lottie joked, making Arthel laugh.

"Oh,you'll be hearing all about it!" he promised, returning. "What do you say we get the shop open?"

* * *

Arthel grinned when he heard Freddie's voice on the end of the phone.

"I have news!" he announced, still on a high after reading the letter.

"Oh? What is it, my dear?" Freddie asked.

"I got a letter this morning. Lottie picked it up from Dan to give to me," Arthel told his partner. "It's from Lou Sullivan."

" _Oh!_ What does it say?"

"I was going to read it to you."

"Go right ahead, darling."

Arthel cleared his throat.

"Ready?" he checked.

"Of course." Freddie replied.

"'Hi, Arthel'," Arthel started. "'Dan explained your situation to me, and I have to start by telling you how sorry I am that you had to go through all of that. I'm glad that your partner is so supportive. He sounds like a kind and wonderful man - and quite attractive from what Dan told me! I think Dan would quite happily steal him away from you! Keep an eye on him, make sure he sticks around.'"

"Assure him that I'm not going anywhere and thank him for the compliments if you write back, my love." Freddie said.

Arthel laughed.

"I will. Anyway," he said. "'I can absolutely understand why you don't want to hide who you are and this fantastic relationship you're in. I think I might be able to get you somewhere if you can cancer me to San Francisco. I'd be happy to put you up at my house while you're here - I know hotels are pretty expensive here and, if you end up getting surgery here, it might be beneficial to have someone around who knows what to do. If this sounds like a good arrangement, wrote back. I look forward to the possibility of meeting you! Regards, Lou Sullivan.'"

"Ell! Ell, this is brilliant!" Freddie exclaimed, excited for his partner.

"I know, I know!" Arthel laughed.

"I'll be over as soon as possible with a bottle of wine!" Freddie told Arthel.

"Alright! See you in a bit!"


End file.
